I’ve expressed [on Stories] in the past that from my end, social media can sometimes feel like a bit of a ‘one-way street’. Sharing, posting, updating without receiving much in return.
Keeping this in mind, I’ve made it my top priority to get to know who I’m talking to. I want my channels to feel like you’re popping in to visit a friend. And I want my readers to feel welcome and know they can count on me as a resource + as a friend.
Over this past year, a lot of really amazing friendships have grown online and the for the first time I really feel a deep sense of community on Instagram. From both ends of the spectrum — I feel like so many of you have become great friends to me and on the other end I have felt a huge shift of support from my peers.
Support is a funny thing. It’s definitely something that we all need at some point, but it’s also not always given freely by all. What I’m not down with, is someone who constantly asks to receive support without reciprocating. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’ve been ‘schlepped off’ until they need something.
Which brings me to my next point. It doesn’t cost anything to be nice. To be appreciative. To be thankful. I am pretty sick and tired of going out of my way for ppl who go out of their way to NOT do the same. It’s very simple. Social media, as in life — is a two-way street.
I was raised to believe that what you put out comes back to you. Which is also why I don’t waste my time, on the odd occasion, that someone starts acting like an idiot. I choose not to dwell on the actions of others but you’d better believe I’m keeping note for future reference.
As I have, you too, have probably been in a situation where your kindness/enthusiasm wasn’t reciprocated. Whether its happening in your work-life, or even as close as with a family member, here are a few things to remember regardless of the case:
Give them the benefit of the doubt: it’s only human to want to jump the gun at times when we feel wronged and trust me, I’ve been there. But the reality is, we never really know what someone is going through or dealing with. Many times ppl’s actions can be the results of other things they haven’t dealt with, and you just happen to be in the way. At the end of the day, I don’t get too obsessed with keeping track and assume they meant no ill-will.
Be the bigger person: don’t be stingy or hold on to things too tightly. I used to get really upset if ppl didn’t support me or reciprocate the level of support I’ve given to them [I’m talking over the years here, not just once or twice]. I noticed that my thinking got muddled in these situations and instead of thinking rationally I’d start thinking emotionally which isn’t always the most efficient use of your time. Take it for what it is, be the bigger person and learn to move on.
Create boundaries: my thinking is 3-strikes you’re out. Sure, we are all dealing with our own shit but at what point does that just get old and tired? If someone is constantly proving to me that they don’t value my energy or time then they are out. I would rather spend my energy building my community who supports me, as well as spend time with friends/family who show me with their actions that they care.
Moral of the story.
Always be nice. Lend a hand. Reciprocate. Show you care.
Especially during these trying times.
Grateful for you guys xx