confidence: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities; firm trust.
Confidence comes from the latin word fidere’ which means “to trust”; therefore, having self-confidence basically boils down to having trust in yourself.
While I have felt some degree of confidence throughout my life, it was something I definitely had to practice throughout my 20’s (and still to this day). I felt like there was a lot of noise in my twenties, especially with the rise of social and apps like Instagram. The internet has made easier than ever to [even unconsciously] play the comparison game so you need to be really skilled to not get sucked into other peoples thinking.
When I think about confidence and what it means for me, I like to think about it as a state of being. To be/feel completely comfortable and secure in who I am and confident in my actions and decision making – but it wasn’t always this way.
A few years ago I was going through a really hard time and through that whole process I feel like it literally forced me to take a good look at myself, my life and what I was doing. It forced me to reevaluate what I stand for, what I will tolerate and how I want to shape my life. Because I was grieving it also allowed me to shut off from life & social, which now when I think of it was a blessing.
I think the key to feeling confident is choosing to look inward. Focus on and take care of yourself instead of constantly looking outward to other people, other lives, other opinions. When you choose yourself and chip away at building yourself up to become the best version you can, you no longer feel the need to look to anybody else. That’s when you unlock your true potential – IMO.
There’s so much more to confidence than what we see with our eyes (ie; how someone looks). You know the saying, you are what you focus on? I feel like confidence truly stems from our thoughts. So naturally, what you focus on you create more of. It’s up to us to change our thoughts and beliefs that have been hardwired in our brains for years, if not a lifetime. It’s not an easy or quick process but a worthwhile one.
THINGS YOU CAN DO:
- take time for self-care: take a bath, do a face mask, read a book. Again, this goes beyond just working on your appearance. This time is for working on your thoughts and doing things that make you feel pampered and taken care of.
- take time to read: I am obsessed with reading and learning from books on personal development. Even a page a day helps keep my mind/thoughts in-check. A few I love include:
- You are a Badass by Jen Sincero
- You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
- The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
- Style your Mind by Cara Alwill Leyba
- The Path Made Clear by Oprah …to name a few
- take time to unplug: even though my job is online I take time to unplug and stay off my phone from around 5-8ish everyday. We sit down to dinner every night at 6pm to catch up on each others day and spend some QT.
- take time to move: I function at my best when I’m active. Knowing this, I try to schedule in at least 3 workouts a week to keep things moving and on track. Figure out what you need and what you can manage then set a plan in motion.
People tend to complain about taking all this time to do these things when life gets full and hectic. I believe that having a great life means taking the time and care each day to give yourself what you need to be the best you can be. Ultimately, that’s what The Working Girl is all about.
Of course, now I want to know — how do you practice self-confidence? What does it mean to you?