We are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this weekend, which is crazy. In looking back, I realize how much growth has happened to me personally, professionally and in my relationship alongside my husband.
With everything that this year (especially) has brought, it’s made me reflect heavily on how lucky I am to have found such an amazing partner to share my life with. Building my dream life wouldn’t mean a thing if I didn’t have someone to share it with.
A friend asked me recently if I had any advice on marriage and it got me thinking — so I’m penning my thoughts + a few pieces of advice below…
Obviously Covid has thrown a MAJOR curveball to all brides this year (and possibly next???) but regardless of how you choose to get married, these notes still ring true.
ADVICE FOR NEWLYWEDS
+ MOVE SLOW:
The biggest decision (IMO) starts even before you get married. I think the biggest decision you will ever make in your life is who you marry. It dictates so much of your future and your happiness and your life direction.
I think making sure before marriage, you have that mutual respect, amazing and open communication, that this person is solid, that they’re a good person, that they have your back, they stand up for you..that they are in this to win this, together and that you can get through bad times and hard days — because it won’t always be easy but you’ll have that amazing foundation and you will have a successful marriage. Having similar interests and wanting the same things out of life, I think is so important, too.
+ BE YOUR OWN PERSON:
Another important piece of advice is to make sure that you both are your own individuals. I don’t look to Roberto to make me happy and he doesn’t look to me to make him happy. He finds his happiness and I find mine and together, we are happy because we’re independently happy.
I think a lot of couples make the mistake of relying and investing solely on the other person when self-love should always come first.
Things can get so lost in translation when we fail to communicate effectively. TBH a whole lot can be avoided with a little dialogue. Learning how to speak to each other openly, with love, understanding and respect can mean the difference between a solid, lifelong marriage and a dud.
EVERYTHING, and I mean everything starts and ends with communication. If you find yourself having issues communicating with your SO in the early days, maybe take a moment to think about how this might carry-on through your years together. Life is so so precious and way too short to spend your life with someone who is pulling you down (when they should only pull you up).
I think another thing that often gets overlooked when it comes to marriage is how far the little things go. Sure, extravagant gifts and fancy trips are appreciated and lovely (of course) but it’s those little tiny gestures of love that go the furthest for us. Things like leaving notes for each other, enjoying cooking & wine together, taking walks to talk about our days or just lounging all together (xavi included) on the couch — we know that we can live and love simply, anything else is an added bonus.
Happy 5th wedding anniversary to my love!