So much has happened over the last six years; we got married, I started my business, hubby made a career change, we got a dog, travelled, experienced loss, bought a home and had a baby.
Marriage is so much more than just a ring and a title you share, and I’m extremely proud of the foundation we’ve built our life upon. Roberto + I have been together for 13 years and while I surely am no expert, we’ve gone through enough to know what’s worked and what hasn’t. Building a happy marriage and taking the time to work at it, daily, is something that both my husband and I are committed to.
No relationship is perfect, but these are six tips I’ve found that help build a strong marriage:
COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING: sounds cliché, but it’s a big one. You can’t expect to read each other’s mind, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. Not properly communicating what you need, can lead to frustration, resentment and not feeling heard. We make a point to discuss if/when things are bothering us, even if it means circling back to the conversation the next day. It’s always better to get things out in the open so you can focus on working through them + move forward in a healthy way.
TRUST: is the other biggie. Without trust, you have nothing to stand on. Knowing the other person has your back 100% and would never do anything to jeopardize that makes everything else so much easier. I believe that trusting others stems from a strong sense of confidence and being comfortable, first with yourself.
SHOW GRATITUDE: the easiest way to get more of what you want is to give praise. Show gratitude + appreciation for the little things your partner does daily to help out and make your relationship stronger and better, no matter how small. Goes a long way.
SPEAK THIER LOVE LANGUAGE: finding ways to show you care don’t have to be lavish or grand. Usually it’s the smallest things that make the biggest impact. Find what makes your partner happy (favourite meal, daily affection or a round of golf) and do that often. The time away from one another usually only strengthens your bond.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF: we all do things that drive others nuts, but at the end of the day none of that stuff even matters. What matters is that you’re in a loving, supportive relationship with someone who’s got your best interest at heart. I think also, not having to feel like you’re ‘right’ all the time can curb a lot of potential disagreements. Go with the flow & focus on the bigger picture.
FILL YOUR OWN CUP: I think it’s super important to make sure that you’re filling up your own cup and doing things that make YOU happy, so that you can feel fully fulfilled to come together as a couple. Taking time away as individuals, to do things separately is a good way to recharge the batteries and I’ve always found it helps strengthen the relationship. I talked more at length on this one, here.